Drama Devised Group Piece – “Older & Wiser"

CAST:

Pauline Teo: Mother-in-law (MIL)
Jason Teo: Son (S)
Grace Cheong: Daughter-in-law (DIL)
Dr Kwong/ Master Huang: Doctor/fortune teller (D)

Scene 1

Grace is busy with housework in the living room…dusting the bookshelves and tables when the doorbell rings. She grumbles as she makes her way to answer the door.

DIL: Master Huang? ( surprised) You’re early.

D: (chuckles) I didn’t expect my appointment with my previous client to end a lot earlier. If it’s not convenient..

DIL: No no. Please come in. ( D enters house with a briefcase in hand and DIL closes the door while D goes to sit on the sofa inside.) I feel bad for making you come all the way to my doorstep. You see.. I was afraid I wouldn’t be back home in time to give lessons to my tutee later on. I’m sorry.

(Takes out an angpao/ red packet)

DIL : Here’s something for your..your traveling expenses.

D: Oh. (with a gleam in her eye.. then she pretends to hesitate) I mean no. I can’t possibly take this. As long as I can help you solve your problems, I’ll be satisfied.

DIL: No. I insist. Take it.

D: Well… then.. I suppose I shall! ( with a big grin) Shall we start? What’s the problem now?

DIL: I don’t know. My husband has been sick for quite some time now. He’s been having a nasty cough that causes him to wheeze and cough all night. Nothing I do seems to be working! I went to the temple, got some spirit-filled spices and made him bathe in it; I made him drink spirit-filled water everyday and even got a spirit-filled monk AND a spirit-filled priest to pray for him as well as a spirit-filled amulet to keep him safe! But his condition only seemed to have worsened.

D: Ahh..so this is where I come in.. hmmm.. well, I’ll see what I can do to help your husband and cure him of his er..cough. It might require a rather..hmm..rather large sum of…

DIL: Money? Sure sure, as long as you can cure him.

D: Excellent! Hmmm…( D gets up and begins ‘inspecting’ every corner of the house carefully) so how long have you been living in this house?

DIL: Well, I don’t own this house. It belongs to my mother-in-law. My husband and I moved in as soon as we got married.

D: Ahhh, I see. Do you have a photograph of her? I sense some evil..dark spirits around in this house..waiting to suck all the life out of your husband. . The root of the problem just might lie with its owner.

DIL: Hang on there. I think I do.

( DIL rummages through the shelves while D continues looking around the house, seemingly engrossed in her spiritual calculations..)

( Then, the doorbell rings.. DIL runs to answer the door.)

DIL: Wait up! (opens the door and MIL stands at the doorstep, carrying many bags of groceries) Mum! Oh hi you’re home.

MIL: Yes I woke up early this morning and decided to go grocery shopping. Waaah.. things are getting more and more expensive. I bought two Ikan Kuning fish for $12.90 and one packet of Kailan and Bean sprouts each cost me $5. Aiyo. And..

DIL: Mum, we have a visitor?

MIL: (finally notices D) OH. Sorry. Forgive me for not noticing you earlier. Your friend? ( gestures to DIL). Sit down. I’ll get you both a drink. ( smiles hospitably at D)

D: (appears to be oblivious to what MIL is saying.) So this is your Mother-in-law? (examines MIL) Thick eyebrows. Wide forehead. One huge mole at the temple! And JADE GREEN EYES?? It’s a terrible foresight the gods have put in my vision. It’s happening. I feel it getting stronger. Be appeased spirits. Spirits! (D chokes on his saliva)

DIL: Are you alright? Master Huang!

MIL: ( looks shocked) I’ll get her a glass of water. ( hurries out of the living room but eavesdrop on DIL and D’s conversation at the same time.)

DIL: Master? Master?

D: Your..your.. mother-in-law can’t live with your son. She’ll bring bad luck to him. Such bad luck, that might even…that might..

DIL: that might cause him his life??!

D: ( nods quickly) I’ve never witnessed such a terrible situation before, ever, in my life. Your mother-in-law can’t stay here. You must get her to leave as soon as possible. Then only will your husband will recover! Heed my advice. As soon as possible. ( D wags her finger at DIL and continues spluttering. Choking on his words and clutching her chest.) I must get out of here. The evil is too strong for me. ( grabs her briefcase and prepares to walk out of the house.)

DIL: Wait!

MIL: Mam! Your water! (hurries to D)

D: No! You stay away from me. Witch. ( she leaves the house herself)

DIL: Master Huang!! (Looks desperately at the opened door and turns back to MIL) Mother, pack your bags. You have to leave.

MIL: (looks appalled and stunned.) What? You can’t be serious! Leave MY house?

Blackout.

Scene 2

S and DIL are sititng around in the living room. S is reading the newspapers and DIL is making some coffee.

DIL: Darling, I know its difficult for you but I had to make her go. She had to. I did it for your own good.

S: I know. * Coughs* But she’s my mother and this is HER house. I don’t know if what we’re doing is right..you know..retribution? *coughs *

DIL: Hahaha oh darling, don’t be silly. She’s doing you a good deed by keeping away. And look at you! Still not feeling any better?

S: *Coughs hysterically*

(phone rings)
MIL: Hello?

DIL: Hello, Grace speaking?

MIL: Son? * S still coughing in the background*

S: Its okay darling, I’ve got it. * Coughs* (shouts over to Grace in the other room)
DIL: Alright honey!

(DIL was about to put down the phone. Instead, she covers the mouthpiece and listens to their conversation.)

MIL: Son? Meet me at the Family Clinic within an hour. You heard me? The Marine Parade Family Clinic.

S: What? Why?

MIL: Don’t shoot me questions. Just do what I say!

S: Mom?

MIL: And don’t let your wife know about this.

S: I’m not going until you tell me what is going on. * Coughs *

MIL: You see? Sighh.. My poor son, suffering with that wicked unfilial daughter-in-law of mine.. Still coughing so badly. Okay. If you still regard me as your mother, you will do what I tell you to do. Come alright. See you at Gleneagles.

(Pauline hangs up the phone. Jason looks at the phone confusingly. He then hangs up the phone.)

DIL: What is this old hag up to this time? Sigh. Let’s just see what she has to say for herself this time.
(DIL hangs up the phone.)

Black out.

Scene 3 (Doctor’s Room)

A doctor is seated behind a long desk , busy flipping through his patient’s medical history file.

Voice from behind the stage: Dr. Kwong, the next patient is waiting to see you.

D: Let him in.

S: Good afternoon doctor. *coughs *

D: Good afternoon, please be seated.

MIL: Son, you sit here. It’s less cold.

S: Thanks mum. But I’m alright with sitting her---e
MIL: You sit HERE. ( points to seat on the right)

S: Okay.

(DIL secretly eavesdrops from outside the room.)

DIL: So this is what they are up too. Trying out Western methods and medicine? I’ve never believed in Western solutions. Stupid old hag. Let’s see what happens next.

D: Well then.. What’s wrong with you?

S: Oh, it is just a cough. Nothing much. *coughs *

MIL: Oh don’t lie Jason. Anyone can tell it’s not just an ordinary cough. Doctor, he has been having a cough for quite some time now, and it just won’t go away. In fact, it has gotten worse. You’d better find a way to treat or I shall..

S: Mother!

MIL: I heard him wheezing quite a number of times too. And recently, he has been developing some kind of.. how do I put it? He has..

(MIL pauses and looks at the doctor.)

D: Wait, mam. Let me conduct a check up alright? Hmm… (does a check up on S) Open your mouth.. Breath…Inhale deeply. Try doing this ( gestures to mouth) Ahhhh. Hmmm.. doesn’t look so good. Well, from all the symptoms you have describe earlier and from what I’ve observed , I suspect your son mam, has pneumonia. And it seems to be a rather serious case. ( turns to S) Why didn’t you come to see a doctor earlier? ( turns back to his notes) But before I confirm his medical condition, I will need to do some more tests on him in the adjacent room so that it-

(Doctor looks up for the first time. MIL and D stare at each other for a while. The doctor quickly looks back at his paper.)

MIL: You look strangely familiar. Haven’t we met before?

D: Oh? I ..I .. have a common face. That’s what everybody here says.. You might have thought that you’d seen me at the market but then again you’d think that you’d also seen me in a courtroom.. You know…people…with common faces??

(Just then, DIL barges into the room)

DIL: Ahh, Mum, what a surprise! I should have known you’d resort to sneaky means to get close to Jason. You get away from him now, you.. you.. you can’t stay anywhere near him. ( pulls S up from his seat. Then she notices D and she pauses) Master Huang?!! Oh my goodness! What are you doing here?? In this attire..? In this hospital..? …you.. you!

MIL: Oh my goodness. You ARE that fortune teller! Aren’t you? Why. You are the fortune teller that got me chased out of the house!

MIL and DIL: What are you doing here?

D: (Smiles sheepishly.)

MIL: (pulls S out of the room with her, leaving DIL and D behind inside the room) Son, let’s get out of here. This doctor’s a dope.

DIL: (remains stunned and continues staring at D in disbelief) So, how should I address you?

Blackout.